ejaculations of a confused system

zzzzz

2011-04-25T23:45:00.000-07:00

"So you sell dreams, is it?"
"Yes"

"For how much?"
"Depends on how big you want your dream to be"

"I see. Aren't you being eccentric here? How can you possibly sell a dream?! And where would you find customers for them anyway??"
"Haah ! So many people need to dream. They would do anything, pay any price to dream the dream they want."

"See, you're being vague again. People have the ability to dream weaved into their subconscious. It's the nature of the human mind. You can't possibly teach someone how to dream for heaven sake ! It's absurd!!"
"I am not teaching them. I don't intend to. I am just selling the dreams. What they want to do with it is their problem, not mine."

"But.."
"But ?"

"You're just being intentionally obscure here. Deliberately wasting my time. I am complaining to the writer right now. I want a different character with me."
"Why?"

"Because with you, the story isn't going anywhere!"
"Where do you want it to go?"

"How the hell should I know!? Depends on the writer."
"But where do you want it to go?"

"I don't know! Never thought about it. Besides it doesn't matter what I think or want."
"Why not?"

"Because! We are characters in a friggin story, that's the hell why !! We are not supposed to have human faculties."
"Do you want to have human faculties? To have real emotions and not borrowed sentiments? To be able to live out your own story in real time and not drive someone else's thought train towards a predetermined destination?"

"That isn't how it works. We live out our lives as defined for us by the writer. It cannot be otherwise. Because that would be...umm... betrayal of sorts."
"I didn't ask you for what works or doesn't, my friend. Would you like it to be otherwise?"

"Umm.. well, yes sometimes I do wish I was doing something else instead of meekly following orders, I guess. But that's just sometimes."
"But you do feel it."

"Yes, because I sometimes wish things were different. It's like getting crushed under a terrible uncertainty because I don't know if things would have been different if I were not a character and had a voice of my own. That is a horrible paradox to suffer."
"I see. So what do you do then? Do you do anything about it? Do you want to be in a different story?"

"Umm.., yes, maybe a different story would be nice."
"What kind of story do you want to be in?"

"Actually I don't want to be in a story anymore. I want to write my own. I have it all in the head, the story, swirling about in an inchoate gooey mass !"
"Ah that's good."

"Yes. I barely have the time or inclination to think about it. Circumstances don't really permit you to dream, especially if you're a lead character! But sometimes I can't help it. The mind wanders and suddenly I start dreaming about things banished into the dark recesses of practised pretension, that is our subconscious."
"I see."

"But thanks for your words. I guess even getting a fleeting glimpse of what I actually want provides enough sustenance to fight on, eh ?!"
"Yeah, it sure does. That will be 49.50 dollars. No cheques please."

Just another walk

2011-02-21T21:10:00.000-08:00

An eventful birthday month ! 10 years back 'eventful' translated to a party with cake, friends, family and the occasional LSD (well not true... just trying to be cool here). Anyway, now at 23+ 'eventful' doesn't seem to have the same positive vibe to it.

On my birthday I went for a walk. Yes, nothing fancy. No rave parties, no hookers drenched in Beer or covered with Gelato. Just a walk. The apartment complex is located right beside (almost right on top of!) the sea and they have a wonderfully long and broad strip of road for residents to jog, run or take uber-melancholic walks along. Steel railings are present to ensure no one jumps in for a swim, as they have a swimming pool for that, duh !

Anyway, the weather being very dark, very overcast with just the right amount of chill in the air that makes you yearn for a cup of chai or coffee, a walk seemed to be a very alluring proposition. The parking lot opens into the walking lane so I had to endure that space again. It's slightly depressing to see a Porsche Carrera followed by a Cayenne, followed by a Lamborghini, followed by a Ferrari and so on and so forth. The cars will look at you arrogantly and mock your servile existence as you think of what she must be like beneath the hood!! Umm.. moving on then..

Weather conditions hadn't changed the general mood of the city. Not that it's necessary though. But there are little things which perhaps tell you what the fabric of the city is all about. I remember in Calcutta, dusky clouds are enough to set off a ripple of excited anticipation, frustration, surprise (if you're from the Met office), and romance depending on which demography you fall under: young school/college crowd, office goer, the busy housewife who must collect the clothes left out in the open to dry. Everyone has a reason to love/hate the rains. And everyone has an inherent reaction to it. But here, people seem practically devoid of emotion. They walk on unperturbed by the fact that the sun has slipped quietly into the dark clouds. Almost hurt by the lack of acknowledgement of its existence on part of these people marching busily ahead. The first drops of rain caress the glass walled skyscrapers urgently. Then they hit the smooth as silk and parched as a desert concrete in vain. But it can't touch the people, they have opened their fashionable Gucci umbrellas quickly and in time.

When I walk back, it must have been around noon, the streets are empty. A slight drizzle made the air more nippy than it was and the roads ahead looked like a pencil sketch, all grey.

Return of the Jaded

2011-01-14T06:46:00.000-08:00

What is this space? It seems oddly familiar. Just like that nagging sense of deja vu that hits you repeatedly and you simply cannot dispel it away, until you give coherence of some sort to that nagging, annoying feeling. Until you finally see and recognize. And remember.

*melodramatic pause*

No shit, It's my blog ! I rediscovered it after ages. I left it. Abandoned it. Betrayed it. Or I just was too goddamn lazy. I think it's the last. But things have changed so much since then on a personal level that this place offers a strange warm comfort. This obscure insignificant speck in the blogosphere reminds me of simpler times. Of a fuzzy period in my life when all the root cause of anxiety was the low talktime in my phone and the stash of porn CDs under the study table cleverly marked "Science Project". In short it reminds me of less fucked-up times.

Although I'm teetering on the edge of regurgitating every little emotional capsule that I have been digesting over this period of long absence, I will hold most of it back. When I started blogging, I promised myself to never adopt the 'personal diary' angle. I wanted to be a serious blogger. I wanted to be taken seriously. But then I discovered the fourth cardinal sin: sloth. Love at first sight, I'd say.

Let me not digress. So yes, this space reminds me of simpler times. Evoking nostalgia and shit, you know what I'm saying. Which is why I'm here. Trying to write. That's another issue with me these days, "Trying" to write. Words don't flow as much as I'd like them to, these days. Which is odd given the fact that I went on to do a motherfuckin MA in Journalism and am currently in the field of "communication" : see the irony? no? Just me then. Probably it's to do with my current non-existent social life devoid of inspiration of any kind. More importantly the lack of a stable career as I still haven't figured out where the fuck I'm headed.

Anyway, since I am in an existential shithole of sorts at the moment, I thought the best way forward would be to simplify things. So, in an attempt to avoid over-complicating things, I have decided to seek refuge in this blog. And write more often. Yes ! That's my 2011 resolution.

Also high on my resolution list is to get a lapdance and a 6-pack.
Believe.

Peace ][

100% blah

2009-08-19T12:39:00.000-07:00

and when that rage

comes of age

and changes to calm acceptance,

the anguish inside

almost acid,

burns up your soul writhing in a messy

pool of repentance,pain,despair,

puny pest!

and then the numbness is an aphrodisiac,

like Death breeds life and poetry.

And then you are born,

or reborn..?

aah the distance 'twixt life and Living!!

............

2009-02-06T09:35:00.000-08:00

today i turn one and twenty..
not much joy and problems plenty.
6th of feb 2009
lays and vodka..its all fine!!

a few more days and i gotta let go....
fuck this life..i can't say no..

mere bhains ko danda kisne maara..?

2008-12-18T11:43:00.000-08:00

Certain factions of the blog-world, I see, have reached viagra-like heights in their diligently stupid(or stupidly diligent?another philosophical question……double sigh..) endeavour to decimate all the wannabe Voltaires and rousseaus of blogdom!!
As if broadcasting SRISTI TV or PEACE channel was not enough food for indigestible thoughts; we now have to deal with the sri sri ravi shankar’s of blogosphere,trying to explain the (F)art-of-living! Golly geeee that’s gotta be a pain to many!
Chauvinism of sadistic mono-maniacs possessed with the sense of the self, I have come to believe, can never be a latent entity. It is bound to break all shackles and show itself. It is comparable to the “virtues” of Pamela Anderson(that “generous” lady who is the b(r)est metaphor in this situation), that can never be kept hidden for long; it is bound to come out as an in-your-face element(pun very much intended), unaware all the while of it’s own nakedness in front of others.

I just wasted 173 words over a pointless and purposeless post. I must be suffering from intellectual dementia…I don’t even know why I am writing such stuff…..is this post real? It is?
Really??

WTF is success?

2008-12-12T11:13:00.000-08:00

The only reason I sat down for some “intellectual/philosophical masturbation” is because of this: http://theplaceanindyo.blogspot.com/2008/12/whos-right.html

A throat-infection which refuses to subside, weather which is as fickle as an Indian spinning-track, an important entrance exam in less than 45hrs, yet another unimportant but cruelly compulsory college exam( for which I am unprepared ), and YET one more exam in a weeks time, the thoughts of which I have shifted to the recycle bin in my brain ( which I notice is rather overflowing with garbage)…..all of these and many more issues could not stop me this time from penning down a few lines in response to what my friend has written. I must say though, that I have interpreted his post in my own way so….
Anyways , this excerpt is what made me unthink a few things:
“Some people are inately born with this desire to succeed ...no matter what it takes.Others prefer to live in the comfort zone and not strive for it and appease themselveswith the false consolation that in the larger scheme of things nothing matters ..success is relative and one only needs to be contended with themselves because man'sdesire for greater things will never stop . Who is right ?”

Hmm… serious words them… but it makes me wonder at what I was doing in my life for the past few weeks. Furiously surfing the net , solving useless stuff like LR..
So what am I working my derriere off for??
Success ??
And what does success essentially translate to? It all boils down to one thing… money.
If there are people who think success should not be equated with money; then here’s a thought…..how many want to be a successful friend,son,daughter or likewise??
I can almost see the smirk on the faces of hundreds of software professionals who would probably laugh their chips off (!!) at this schmaltzy opinion/question!!! ……..[ Some people are inately born with this desire to succeed ...no matter what it takes ]

Let me assume that I crack my entrance exam and clear the other rounds…I get admission into a really good postgrad college..get a fancy degree and an even fancier paypacket…( that is one BIG assumption dudes!!)..
Ten years down the line, if I have to live in a swanky apartment(alone) somewhere abroad, will that qualify me as a success,if I don’t have someone beside me?? Will my paypacket be able to buy me friends? Will I ever be successuful enough,have money enough to buy my childhood? Or to change my past mistakes/ imperfections? My prof once observed “ no man is rich enough to buy his past”( was this originally by confucious?!!)
Does , then, conventional constructs of “success” really matter?
The smirk is back, I presume, on some faces.
Many would be rolling on the floor by now at my “compromised” definition of success….[ in the larger scheme of things nothing matters ..success is relative and one only needs to be contended with themselves because man'sdesire for greater things will never stop . Who is right ? ]

I guess it is a matter of perspective. I cant say who is right therefore…but neither are wrong !!!

Ali...?

2008-10-09T03:16:00.000-07:00

Dear imaginary reader,
It has been some time since I blogged. There are a number of reasons and I shall reveal them in due course. I actually cannot point out a specific reason for my absence though I am quite certain that my glorious unpresence would hardly affect anyone/anything…the void created by my blog’s French leave must have already been filled by some other wannabe blogger….some budding engineer or doctor whose frustrations transcend plebian angst and who apparently have more issues to burden them in life than mortal, servile creatures of the earth like us. They have to contend with the gut-wrenching loss of failing to bag the 26lakh annual pay packet they always had wet-dreams about….
I can see that my sense of logic and proportion have started to have a threesome with the eccentricities within me,which explains this irrational post and irrelevance of content.
But trust me. I still have some degree of sanity left within me.
***F R U S T R A T E D***

P.S: I am stopping here as the cursor has winked at me for the past 10minutes; mocking my inability to give a coherent shape to my frenzied thoughts. I will continue expounding on the crap-and-boredom which has pervaded my life,a little later. For now,let me think…….
Disgruntled-ly yours,
Asad.

CU next year..

2008-07-15T06:10:00.000-07:00

“The annually occurring, prolonged nightmare of pains,also known as CU is now over.
And I am alive once more.It is tough to describe the past few months. Actually I have been rendered numb by the end of it so I don’t really have words to replace the genuine feelings of hatred,contempt,disgust and repulsion which I feel for that institution.”
This is an excerpt from an email sent to me by a friend of mine who is a resident of Mars. Yes Mars.
Before you jump to hasty conclusions,let me expand CU for you……it is Chubki University,located somewhere in the hilly terrain of Mars( so my friend tells me). The nomenclature is more to do with the way the university has a habit of shocking and startling the students when they least expect it, than anything else. Anyway my friend went on further to explain his ordeals and the intellectual impediments he faced while dealing with ultra-boring works of (f)art.
First there was a play called Edward…according to my friend,the play was based on the life of an unabashedly homosexual king and his minion;his consequent neglect of the duties of kingship,which resulted in (a)civil war for England (b)a box of aspirins for the student. Its repercussions can be gauged from the fact that, the play spawned an entire new genre of hybrid humans who,for some odd reason, started to call themselves Booby Darlings…..
Second there was School For Scandal….a comedy which drew more Ha-Ha’s than bhojpuri porn…and he told me it was an achievement in itself. The plot was supposed to be mostly of the Restoration genre. The play did fit the bill of restoration,he tells me,as his sanity was restored soon after he was done reading the play.
Third there was Pride and Prejudice which according to my friend was the literary equivalent of ekta kapoor soaps. The characters_ the ladies to be precise_were only interested in hooking up with rich guys with huge estates…much similar to our modern day gold-diggers to some extent…
There was also a novel called Return of The Native…one of the main characters in this novel,going by the name of Eustacia, is a loose portrayal of all the new age mallika kherawat’s, who are comfortable with their sexuality and have no qualms in using their sex-appeal to seduce prospective mates; especially if the mate happens to have a lucrative job in paris. The novel also presented the character of Wildeve; someone who is stupid enough to assume that an unpredictable woman like Eustacia would actually spend her whole life with a single man. An even dumber character is that of Clym, who prefers serving the locals instead of going to Paris with a hot wife…idiot.
My friend gave me inputs on how the university tortured the students in innovative ways. He said that some students had to sit for exams on two consecutive days with the timing for the first exam being from 2-5 and that of the second exam being from 10-1; this practically meant almost no time for recuperating from the trauma of the exam gone by….he also stressed that the sex-life of a few students were also affected as they could not indulge in nocturnal rock-n-roll in so less a time-gap. The jerks.
But my friend is an optimist.He points out that he’s better placed than many of his friends who had to sit for 2 exams in one day!! you gotta have the stamina of a pornstar to actually sit through 6gruelling hours of accounts/maths or whatever combination you prefer.
All said and done,my friend is a bit disillusioned right now. He told me with a lot more than pain in his voice,that the university syllabus would not be this soporific,if it was presented well and a certain degree of creative freedom given to students. By curbing the imagination of young minds, and compelling them to memorise literature in a rigid,tasteless fashion; instead of giving them room for personal interpretations; the powers-that-be are destroying the entire charm of the subject itself.

“so what about you? Things must be better back there…”
This is how his email ends.
And I am still thinking on the reply.

CHEER(up)LEADERS

2008-04-27T04:09:00.000-07:00

Sneakily switching channels to catch those divine goddesses/unrealistically hot babes of Baywatch perhaps has been an integral part of every Complan Boys’s life…and of course, for those who no longer need Complan, and a Teachers is just as good.
And after every episode followed a deep reverie dangerously and tangibly tilting towards a fantasy,as You imagined what it would be like to catch even a fleeting glimpse of them in real-life.

Decades of such fantasies later came IPL.

Then came the cheerleaders...an equivalent of those memories,toned down with touches of reality.

And then came the moral brigade….and the rest is history…literally and figuratively even as they voiced ‘displeasure’ and ‘concern’ over the apparent ‘loss of Indian values’.
Really?? I may have been speaking from the point of view of a testosterone driven male before but that’s well and truly half the picture. It cannot be refuted that they entertain the masses…(and some of the fielders manning the boundary line).But they are important not just for their glamour quotient ;they are representative of how the game itself has evolved over the years from being the Gentleman’s(read snob’s) game to the game of the aam junta. Rather,Cricket has seemingly adapted itself as per the needs of the average Joe who has to slog from 9 to 8 under more pressure than ever before,trying to meet one steep deadline after another. So even if there is an Indo-Pak ODI over the weekend,he or she can just about hope to catch the last few overs. So what would you do in such a situation? Get yourself a drink at Park street and hit the disc where you drink some more,dance like a retarded monkey and stare at cute guys/ gals. IPL is what offers a different way to unwind.Although I am sure there are many who would still prefer the former scenario,i am equally certain that many guys or girls will prefer sports…in this case IPL.
And why not? It’s giving us what we need: an action packed extravaganza complete with bollywood stars,the best cricketers of the world thrown into one single arena,foot-tapping music for those wannabe Hrithiks and the cheerleaders who egg on the crowd incase you are running short of enthusiasm…and all this inside an approximate of 4hours. That’s total entertainment for me. And the cheerleaders just happen to be an important part of that entertainment-package. So where exactly does morality fit into all this? I think the MP’s(moral police) are implying,that should you happen to be more interested in ‘finer legs’ than fine-legs,then we have a situation at hand…therein lies your ‘immorality’. Perhaps,by shifting priorities from late-cuts to deep-cuts,you are getting your priorities wrong.Simple.
But I believe,and i speak for every true cricket fan hopefully,that the lovers of this now-beautiful game need not be told the fact that a straight-six by Sachin is still even sexier than the ladies with pom-pom’s.Of course,if a batsman decides to make 30 off a hundred deliveries,then i would much rather prefer watching ‘em blondes gyrating away to glory!!
So our MP’s need not feel “concerned” as far as loss of values are concerned on the cricket field.
I am sure our MP’s have voiced their “concern” keeping the best interests of India’s tradition in mind.And being responsible citizens,it is our duty to bring any cases of Value-loss to their attention. For example,the banning of bar-dancers,who are forced to dance and please complete strangers due to inavailability of other decent jobs; instantly robbed many women of their livelihood…I am guessing,though I might be wrong,that maybe it is perhaps not moral. When people with enough political clout get away with rape,murder etc etc….maybe…just maybe it is immoral.

I am sure that our MP’s, our most loved guardians of Indian culture,tradition and values;the Justice-League of our great nation,fiercely protecting our morals from westernization will take up these matters and many more and ensure that there is no loss whatsoever in our values and the halo of purity on our heads is preserved till eternity. Amen to that.

No regrets

2008-04-12T09:46:00.000-07:00

Shards of your memory,last night
Sliced me up with neat precision…
(So you’re expecting some blood,tears maybe
For metaphors sake,at least)
Sorry. I just made a bad decision.

Useless Philosophy

2008-04-09T03:38:00.000-07:00

Damn.Its one of those moments again.
When reality makes love to you...and you’re left with a sense of waste,despondency and an overwhelming sense of nothingness inside you.Not something you bargained for.
But that’s exactly what happens sometimes is’nt it? When you manage to coax your subconscious into sneaking a peek at the world around you,for what it actually is,and not how you think it is,and not how you force yourself perpetually to believe it to be.Some might say these are moments of epiphany…I just think these are moments of life exposed to the hilt for what it truly stands for..nothing.We have this despicable habit of viewing things from an extremely parochial point of view..we see what we want to see..we believe what we want to believe. But the notes of reality are jarring enough to reshuffle our make-believe world.
I think i am digressing. I just heard of someone passing away recently…drug overdose.He was a student i think…an exceptional one at that.
The potential of his being reduced to nothing. He makes me realize the bubble of stupidity and pretence I have created around myself..the bubble of transitory dreams and desires….a great job,success in life..successful relationships.. a giant bubble…and a vulnerable one too.
Suddenly everything seems so naked…so real.
I look around myself and see my own reflection in the glass wall of farce around me.Its got a crack running right through the middle.

####$$%^****!!!!!!!!/////??~~~~~~@@@@@

2008-02-28T22:05:00.000-08:00

For the past few weeks my subconscious has been subjected to a seige of sorts,from thoughts and issues ranging from the commonplace to the extremely bizarre....put all of them together and voila!.. the result is a sandwich of incoherence and meaninglessness which i seriously believe has the potential to zap the last remains of intellect which i have(or at least i think i have..)

So i tried to cordon off the area of my brain where these 'vile creatures' were pounding up and down,as if on an overdose of viagra..and these are just a few of the elements which were gnawing at me uncessantly,and unnecessarily(chronology has'nt been adhered to):

/fu*k exams//new cell new cell new cell//tickets for IPL//deepika's soo damn cute they should ban her from making public appearences//wish i was on roadies//need money//......need more money//exams from june..fu*k//james joyce and Araby//psychosexual experience//disillusionment//why does the board hinder creativity??fu*k??//man i broke a signal!! thats probably 200bucks//Central park seems a nice place to make out...//no books in english for sociology..unbelievable!//Macbeth's one sttrong text//Jodha-Akbar...give two whooping hoots for Akbar..i want jodha...ash is surreal//hope i get a job somewhere as a journalist//why are there no cute girls in my college??//Love song Of J.Alfred Prufrock//gotta finish writing the fu*king notes//killer curves..on the merc//F.R.I.E.N.D.S//im not in stephens..why???//been a long time since i went out with her//Mittal's driver gets paid more than i will earn in 10 years//hate to mug up answers..never thought i would be doing it//when is the best time(and place) to lose my virginity?//Banalata Sen//jennifer anniston//wish BBC hires me//john donne's epitaph//some girs are BIG time sluts//whats the syllabus in J.U like?//gotta have a gud physique//FU*K its only 2 months to june!!........................................////

Makes sense?..Congratulations.......aap paanchvi paas se kaafi tez hain..

some day..!

2008-02-07T22:39:00.000-08:00

Its that time of year again when street shops,malls,departmental stores are all inundated with flowers of diverse kinds.Red,yellow,white,pink...flowers of all possible hues are abundant everywhere.Suddenly people develop an intrinsic affinity to romance,which strangely,must needs be accompanied by the seed bearing part of the plant....Im talking of course,of the build-up to Valentines Day,14th February.The change in societal atmosphere is blatantly perceptible to such a degree that,should you not sense it,then two conclusions must be drawn.Either you are blind or a puritan bordering on the extreme,refusing to acknowledge such an event at all!! Just a cursory glimpse across the street should be enough evidence for my claims.

And in a progressive world as the one we inhabit,shows of love are not confined to the modest rose or the perfumed greeting card.Trying to find the essence of romance by extending the realms of transience is what unemployed persons would do on a winter evening!There is no room for ephemerality today,when people can freeze their love(hmm) on digi-cams with 7 or 10 megapixel cameras,which by the way has auto-focus...Sooooooo.........

"Rush to your nearest mall and grab hold of the best digi-cam available! After all,your partner is worth it!! whats more we give you a discount of 50% for every purchase worth 7000 rupees! RUN NOW!!!!.....CONDITIONS APPLY MORON."

This is what V-day stands for in the context of recent times.Glorification of material aspects which are not even remotely associated with love.I cannot figure out why one needs to express "love" in terms of the number of carats which a gold ring is made of.Why should we equate love with tokens of superficiality?

Again,is there a need at all to observe such a day? Many say that V-day is when we "celebrate love"....on a grand scale,albeit!! I feel it has now become more of a statement to say "we are celebrating togetheress"....it is the proclamation of love,the statement itself which matters more than the intent.We keep forgetting that love can be found in the little things that we do for each other...

So instead of taking a day off on V-day to be with your partner for lunch;surpising her with an unexpected visit might be a less mushy and yet far more meaningful gesture...instead of meeting your friends at parties,dropping by when they're cleaning the garage might be a less glitzy but more constructive and thoughtful approach!!! Instead of buying your mother a saree,taking a french-leave to spend a day with her would perhaps be more emotionally satisfying.....

Lets indulge in love...not celebrate it.

P.S: this post was supposed to be published before 14th but obviously my server had designs of its own...i guess it was busy "serving" others on V-day!

Pro-crastinating bong..

2008-02-03T09:39:00.000-08:00

NO.

I am not suggesting that the average bengali has proclivities towards perpetually delaying their already delayed matters(job,studies or whatever).Nor am i,by fiddling arond with alphabets,trying to put a label on them.Im a bong myself.

I was merely drawn into a retrospect,which in itself was a culmination of three consecutive lazy mornings and six cups of coffee(decaffe),on whether the irrepressible urge to delay important assignments is only confined to my slothful self..an uncle of mine who happens to be bengali also,somewhat calmed my agitated nerves.He was supposed to leave for mumbai on some official tour and had to get himself updated on current affairs,as he would be interviewing some candidates.To his consternation,he discovered that time does not expand and remains a constant commodity..fixed at seven days with 24hrs each,which then runs into months and years in that precise order.Acknowledging this essential fact of life,48hrs before departure,is perhaps not helpful.Nevertheless,he was equally aware of the effects of an immovable self-belief.Well i was'nt.It did not take me a long time to find out though.

The results of a solid human self-belief in such a situation,keeping my uncle as the parameter;of trying to conquer time(at the last minute?) are as follows: dizziness,grogginess accompanied by gastronomical implosions of diverse kinds and hypertension.

Procrastination of such supreme kind,magnified several times,maybe seen in some government offices also.They have,in fact perfected the art and taken it to the next level...or so i heard.Therefore,i can now take solace from the fact that,im not the only creature to practice this ancient art form.

Let me give you further paradigms of how this human trait was prevalent in medieval times..

ummm...maybe later.Time for some sleep.............................................

Dead Silent

2008-01-10T09:50:00.000-08:00

a thousand voices screaming inisde my head
wrenching out my sanity and leaving me numb,
fighting and killing each other,leaving a blank canvas in my head for
a second;
again its filled with wild scribbles,harsh strokes but no colours..

more incoherent noises,
trying to speak through me now..
draining me again and again..

there's the din rising again
more intense,with a screeching this time..
the canvas is full,no corners left to discolour..

it has reached a crescendo now
and goes beyond
ending in a blinding light of darkness..

no colours,no sound.
deadening quiet forever and now.

The Reality of Reel-ity

2008-01-08T23:03:00.000-08:00

TZP(taare zameen par for the uninitiated) is another example of cinematic brilliance...an extremely well thought out movie.Unfortunately,it is just that...a movie.
So to expect some kind of a radical social change from this reel life venture would be foolhardy.There are people who tend to believe that such movies are the harbinger of a holistic change in perception of society towards that,which the fim deals with..in this case,it is dyslexia.Or to be precise,children affected by this condtion.
The protagonist of this story(aamir) goes all out to be the emotional cushion for the suffering kid.He,as the arts teacher, is seen employing unconventional techniques to help the boy learn everything in a different manner...he provides the boy a comfort zone,within which he can be himself,without having to worry about the repurcussions of his results back home.
My question is...how many teachers are willing to go that far,for one kid?
Not many,i believe.
So why are the tissues coming out?
It has touched a chord,did someone say?
But are we doing something to validate the message of the film? No.
Life will carry on once more for those suffering kids,who are perhaps suffering more from an illusion of temporal hope,which the film provides, than from their condition.
Contrary to what some believe(or would like to believe), films on real life issues DO NOT change reality.They,however,must be credited of bringing to the fore, issues which are on the brink of social extinction...putting the limelight on important aspects for a change.
But i repeat,they are only catalytic in their effect.It is upto the masses,who have to initiate the real change.It won't help if we merely say,that a certain film has revived a certain social aspect,long since shelved into the labyrinths of public memory.This is exactly what happened with another movie...chak de india, starring Shahrukh Khan.
The movie was supposed to miraculously turn around the perpetually dwindling condition of womens hockey in india. The despicably corrupted and biased attitude of adminstrators controlling womens hockey is revealed in the movie.It sent a wave of new-found patriotism among many,who believed that,the time had come for the national hockey team(both men and women!) to feel rejuvenated enough to go on and win titles at international levels....Wrong again.
We should stop meandering like a hard-core romantic, in a dream world;where magnanimous levels of adminstrative blunders,social prejudices and corrruption is erased instantly by a Bollywood director's two hour affair.

Assets v/s Assholes

2008-01-01T10:08:00.000-08:00

"asshole".This,coming from a woman in her mid-twenties,at park street, wearing a dress with a neckline,which would succeed in giving pamela anderson an acute inferiority complex.
(i am quite aware that the repitition of what is considered,a socially filthy slang for a perfectly normal anatomical part,might be disturbing to many who read this.So if you are disgusted too easily,then you have been warned...)

"asshole" is how the same woman chose to describe some boys who were measuring(the bongs define this concept as "mepe neoa") her neckline from a distance with their heightened sense of vision.Now my point is....why blame them???!!! why would a girl dress up in sensuous attire? the obvious answer is to look good and appear more attractive. Now presuming that the girl has inclinations towards people of the opposite sex,why create a moral ruckus while receiving stares? Is'nt it something which she wanted in the first place...attention? i admit that in such situations,"ogling" is the definitive term;but you can't have the cake and eat it too!!!!
the male homocritus has long been fascinated with a womans body... so when these "assholes" are ogling at a womans physical "assets",they are merely carrying on the tradition of almost all males in the world.
if looking at them is considered an act of extreme perversion,then there is a simple solution to it....cover 'em asssets up. i can see women crying hoarse already.."why cant we dress the way we want to?" well then..why do you want to dress in that manner??!! back to square one,is'nt it?!!gimme a break....our ancestors were monkeys...so the primary bestial instincts of a man will never remain suppressed...no matter how much we evolve as better rational creatures.

"give the fool rope enough and he will hang himself"
"give the man a neckline deep enough and he will ogle"
i hope the crude similarity drives home the point.

First blog blues??

2007-12-27T04:08:00.000-08:00

I did not know what to write..im a bad learner.i take time to warm up…be it to people or the keyboard…so if someone wishes to gauge my linguistic abilities based on these blogs__the firstlings of my online soul(yea..go ahead and call me crazy!!)__then please spare me the criticism..i can live without it.
I had to invest 45 minutes of my useless time to think of what to write. You would think its an easy job…so much to write about isn’t it? Starting from india’s rankings in the “developed economies” list to a more serious and alluring issue of national concern…the length of sania mirza’s skirt. Well I choose not to contemplate on these topics…I do not see my blogs raising either india’s rankings or anything else for that matter…although I would love to help…
I think its time for an honest confession…im nervous even as I write my first post..they call it the blues I think. Everybody experiences it…the reactions may vary and it does.
Right from your first crush to your first job to your first wife(lets not be prudes,ok?)…you feel it. Excitement, nervous tension,stress and sometimes fear, all culminate in a psychological state which some progressive group of people have labelled “the blues”…
I’ll take my first example to illustrate further.most guys get a crush on a girl by the time they learn to spell “love”…and some precocious ones may even get one as soon as they are able to coherently arrange the words: “me”, “like” and “you”….the immediate repercussions of getting a crush are interpreting simple signs of the female homosapien,into complicated and vague signals of acceptance…example: girl meets boy in class..asks for an eraser..and the guy goes.. “she has a thing for me man”..and then the blues….the guy spends the next 20 hours thinking of what to say to her,in case any such transaction occurs in future again…
pondering over seemingly futile issues such as these eternally,is
the most prominent symptom of the blues.some researchers are of the opinion that consumption of adnan-sami-esque(of yore) amounts of ice-cream may be of help during this period.